The fascination of pain

It's funny, when I was young I used to look in the mirror and think of bad things to cry about, I guess when we are too young, we don't understand what real pain is and what fascinates us about it being a part of our life. At a certain age nothing seem to stop you from doing what you're doing but once you grow up the same things turn into a big question which you can't find an answer to... But the question remains that even after brainstorming so much why aren't we able to make the right decisions?
Is it the pain that we are afraid of ? Or is it the fear or making the wrong decision for yourself ? And eventually ending up being hurt, or in short in "pain" so what's the big fuss about pain anyway when it is a part and parcel of life. Why don't we accept it the way we accept happiness? Well I guess the answer to that would be, that as we grow up meanings and our view on things change and so does the view on pain. Apparently when we grow up the only thing that we never get an answer to is that what is pain and what is the exact feeling of pain ?
But the thing is, if we get exposed to the meaning of it we will understand that it is nothing but and expression or a feeling, just like the feeling of love, happiness and fear, pain is also a part of them.
As a child I introduced myself to pain and I'm glad that I became friends with it at the early stage of my life... We are pretty good friends now.. Neither of us are willing to leave each other, whenever one of us leaves, the other drags the other down again because separation is not what we practiced a lot in the earlier stages. But the point is that we have learnt to live with each other, and I won't mind accepting that every once in a while we cut each other some slack.

I'm glad we have that understanding.

The girl in yellow Kurta...

Not every time I sit in the metro and care about anybody around me. But today was no other day, because today I saw a girl with a yellow umbrella. At first she looked kinda weird, I wondered, why she had an umbrella in her hand? I mean this is Delhi and that too the month of April but I guess while coming to the metro I myself thought it would rain, the weather was acting crazy.
I wondered where she was coming from because I could sense that she had cried. Was she so over cautious about the umbrella because she picked up an umbrella from home? Or did she borrow it from a friend? But then again, she had carelessly wrapped it around her hand turning and crushing its edges, so I figured,  it must be hers because you have to be extra cautious with other people's stuff and especially if you are a girl, you cannot screw up your girlfriends stuff because you might not see them ever again.
Suddenly her phone started ringing and I got a little curious because deep down inside I wanted to hear what was going inside the wired shaped head of hers... She cleared her throat and said "Hello" .. And damn her voice was squeaky, she started talking to this guy on the phone and literally started shouting and suddenly everyone else other than me noticed her.... I had no clue what that guy on the phone was saying, but I'm pretty sure he called her mom and her sister whores because she screamed out in rage "yes yes, we are, and yes we take a lot of money for it". The conversation went on for a looooong long time ... During which some uncomfortable and outrageous information was shared on the phone which was totally uncalled for... Even though I had my full sympathy with her she had a few annoying moments for me too, for instance not caring where others are standing and just stepping on everyone's foot. Finally she hung up and the conversation was over, she looked at the metro map which showed what station we were about to reach, seeing that, she shouted like a monkey because apparently she jumped few stations ahead of the one she wanted to get off. Even though we got the message, she reassured us by shouting on top of her voice.. So finally the next station came and she pushed everyone to get off but in a sudden hurry she left her yellow umbrella inside...
I wonder where will that yellow umbrella go, will it get a new family? Or will it have to spend rest of his life on the streets, but whatever is it in his future I hope he doesn't take along the luck it brought to that girl...

Rhyme....

There's this shadow haunting me,
Taking me in the past.
But its horrifying to know,
I'v reached where i was before.

Don't know which path to choose,
It feels I'm going to lose everything I have,
As there's nothing left behind,
It feels as if I'm blind.
I see this pretty sight,
But it's all left behind.

What's wrong I wonder why it's always me,
Why can't I be free, these chains are so tight
Which traps me inside, but one day I will find a  better reason to fight
With someone by my side.

It's been so long I write this song,
But it's a waste of time because it won't be mine for long, as it won't find its way,
Through another day.

So what's the use of rhyming it,
When no ones even buying it,
It'll go down the drain
And I'll be in vain.
As my soul takes me behind,
When i was just a child
And i used to rhyme, but it was a waste of time
Because i knew it won't be mine.
Until the time that i can find, the only reason behind.
"Why i rhyme"

NOt One of them.......

I'm not a barbie girl,
That's not my kind of world.
I'm not the one to look at,
But i know what I'm good at.

I'm not one of them, who thinks they are the best
Who are there till its sunny,
But actually its too funny,
Because when you look behind,
There's no one to be found.....

But I'm not one of them,
I'll be there when it rains,
Even when you're in pain...
I'll be there till the end,
Because I'm not one of them...

Not everyone is good to me,
As if that's a shock for me.
Not everyone has good to say,
But I don't care, its there own way.

Because i can't sell my soul,
For them to play a role,
Because i feel there's a hole.....
Which drains their inner soul.
They just put up a fake show,
As if they go with the flow.....

Someday...

Someday ill be there,
Someday ill have a name with a great lot of fame.
Someday ill give my soul,
For the dream I'v lived for.

It's just another day when i woke up with my hopes reaching sky,
With the dreams that made me fly.
I know this is it,
I know this will fit.
My space of fantasy
In the corner of my head.

The sun is out,
That makes me proud.
To live my dream for one more day,
Until i chose to go off the bay...

I will rise,
I will shine,
I will never say goodbye.
I can reach the sky,
I know i can fly,
At least before i die

Walk By The Moonlight

When there's no soul left behind,
When no one creeps inside.
My soul wakes me up 
to dream to feel to search a better world


Last night was a lonely night,
and was too on yesternight,
Across my path were  thrown,
Which made my heart so very light....
I think i could have flown.
                                                                             


So many questions and handful of answers 
which are never meant for me to know,
So i walk by the moonlight, 
as the moon sits there silent in the sky and look upon our earth,

the clouds passing by in homage to her worth....

I just love this song....
enjoy :)